The king, his nephew and his heir
by amberanime
Summary: Fili sees Kili is the favorite nephew. One shot: A sneakpeak into Fili's mind concerning being the heir and understanding it's importance but a small part of him wanting to be the nephew. Au Spoiler for the ending of the book. By changing it.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit or it's characters. If I did I would be making a Middle Earth tv series.

I make no money writing this. This is simply for fun.

I'm having some trouble writing so I am practising one shots for now. Having seen the Hobbit I noticed a movie mistake that my mind would not leave alone. So I wrote something (Kinda) that has to do with that mistake.

The one shot didn't turn out exactly as I hoped but I hope you will enjoy it none the less.

Warning: Small spoiler for ending of the hobbit. Don't want to know the spoiler then don't read any further.

AU Thorin/Kili/Fili live. This is one of the few Durin fics that has no durincest. Though It can be read that way if you can read trough the lines. I wanted to write something that would also appeal to the not yaoi fans among us. ;)

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Thorin is king of Erabor and trains Fili to be his heir. Biblo went back to the shire. The other dwarves also live in Erabor. Thorin is more distant from Fili then he is from Kili. He is very strict and tought on Fili in order to prepare him to become a great king. Kili has more simple and relaxed live and Thorin is less strict and more open with Kili. Fili sees Kili is the favorite nephew. In a way Kili is his only nephew. Fili is his Heir. Fili has ishues with that.

One Shot: A sneakpeak into Fili's mind concerning being the heir but wanting to be the nephew.

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It was obvious to all of those who had functioning eyes and ears. He himself was no exception.

It hurt. More than he was willing to admit. But it did. He didn't blame his little brother. It was not his fault Thorin treated him more like a nephew than himself. Not his fault he was the younger one. He loved his little brother. Still the hurt would not leave him.

Kili was the favorite but he was the heir. Trained by his uncle in how to be a king. Expected to be the mature one. He had expectations and obligations to fulfill. Limitations in how to behave and speak. He did not get away with anything ever.

When he and Kili would get into trouble it was him his uncle looked at with disappointment. When relaxed it was Kili he teased. When in danger it was Kili's name his uncle would shout. Than there was that time with the rock giants. Even when it was him who was in danger that time, it was Kili's name that came from uncle's lips even though Kili was safe behind him. A mistake he called it once. I confuse your names all the time he said. I ment to call Fili he said. The flicker of guilt in his eyes did not escape him. But he knew, they both knew, Thorin was lying. For not once did he misname Kili Fili. And that hurt.

He doesn't show it. Never would he burden his brother with feeling guilty over something he had no hold over. Never would he bother his king with childish insecurities and wishes when he has more important matters to deal with. Perhaps that's the real reason he doesn't speak up. The hurt he feels now would not compare to the hurt of making his brother feel guilty and his uncle disappointed.

Kili was the nephew . Fili was the one he trusted with the heavy but important task of looking over the people of Erabor. But how could he become a good king if he would let his emotions, his hurt, rule. So he hid them.

He hid them well, he hid them deep. And if it is up to him that's where they would remain.

Thorin had become a good king. And he knew that being as good as his uncle would be difficult but he would do his very best. Sadly one can not make such a commitment and not have to sacrifice one or two things along the way. Personal happiness, selfish needs and wants.

His Uncle was no different. As a king, he had a duty to provide a responsible heir and follower of the throne. And so he made sure to deliver one. That made Thorin be his king before his uncle. Thorin was his king in every single way. This ment however there was no room for him to be his uncle as well. In a way Thorin had sacrificed the uncle nephew bond for the sake of Erabor. He was honoured for the trust shown in him, yet a small grip of sorrow would not let go of his heart.

Thorin had his heir in him. Therefore he had room to be an uncle to his brother.

It wasn't that he didn't understand.

He understood. He understood that his uncle loved them both. He understood Thorin could not treat him the same as his brother. He understood that it was duty that made it so. He understood that Thorin grieved what could have been between them. He understood what was expected of him. He understood that Kili needed an uncle and that his uncle needed a nephew. He understood that he had to be the responsible one, so that Kili could live his more care free life. He understood why Kili would get a smile and he would get a nod when their uncle was proud. He understood why Kili would be hugged and he would get a shoulder pet when sad. He understood why Kili would be scolded but he would be glared at when they got in trouble. He understood why he had to follow more rules, learn more things, and receive less family love in return. He understood Kili was the favorite because he represented a more warm and carefree part of his uncle's life. He understood Thorin needed Kili to lighten up the darkness in his heart. He understood Thorin felt some kind of remorse for him. He understood he stopped being a nephew the moment he became the official heir. And he even understood why he could never tell either of them about his inner struggle and pain.

He understood it all.

That didn't make it hurt any less.

A small part of him, as much as he resented it, was angry at his uncle. Angry for being placed in a position he didn't ask for. Angry that he didn't get the same love and warmth his brother got. Angry that his uncle, his king, made him feel jealous of his own brother. How he wished sometimes he where the younger one. But those thoughts would never last. He did not want this for Kili. This life would have killed his lively younger brother. And so he was happy it was him instead. He could bear it. He would bear it. He would learn.

Like it was Thorin's way to never forget and never forgive to get their mountain back,

It would be his to always forget and always forgive to keep it.

One day.

One day he would be King. As a King he would love all of his people. He would not be selfish. He would lead them with strength and certainty, kindness and honour.

He would bring his people prosper but never greed. He would protect them and love them like they where all his children. He would be above this petty feeling of jealousy towards his brother and a small feeling of betrayal towards Thorin. He would not long for the strong embrace of his uncle. He would not dream of going on adventures with Kili. He would not think about how fun and easygoing his life could have been where he not the heir. He would not miss having his brother for himself and belonging solely to his brother. He would not yearn for simple affections like hugs and kisses on foreheads. One day he would be mature enough to be the king his people deserve.

Today is not that day.

Tomorrow might be different.

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Thanks for reading.

Comments are very much appreciated.

Advice is welcome. Flames will be used to make a nice fire where Bombur can cook his food on.

If you like this idea but not the way it was written PM me and let me know why. It could help me grow as a writer.

Of course if you liked it Please let me know.

Comments make me happy.


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